Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Who says chicken carcass can't fly 50mph?

We (Steven, Mike and I) were wandering around Sainsbury's looking for food to take to Ciaran's BBQ. We had burgers in mind(despite Mike's somewhat outside the box idea of milkybar yogurts) but on our mission to find them we came across the cooked meat counter, and there it was, whole cooked 'extra tasty' chicken. After some confusion over which one to buy we took the goods, picked up some burgers and payed for it all. As me and Steven payed Mike robbed a knife from the cafe area, for operating. We payed and headed back the the cafe for condiments, we got some very evil stares form the workers as we were piling mayonnaise and ketchup into a carrier bag like some crazed fools. we made a swift getaway back to the car, we could hardly contain ourselves. I opened the bag, the smell rushed out, mouths watering we gave orders to Steven to dish it out. We set off for Ciaran's getting bits of chicken here and there, I had some major problems with mayonnaise and trouser contact but i got over the worst of it. After devouring the chicken, sensing a little buyers' remorse we pondered on what to do with the greasy carcass that was left. It didn't take long for one of us to suggest throwing it at a pedestrian as we drove past and the plan was put straight into action. Sadly i couldn't get my phone out in time to record this spectacle, but believe me it was AMAZING. We spotted the target, a solitary figure making his way towards the university, Steven took aim and POW! The noise it made was indescribable, a mix between a thud and a splat. The guy must have been covered, dripping with grease. I looked back and saw him stood still, probably trying to decipher what the fuck just happened.
Onward to Ciaran's. We arrived, watched Ciaran wash some filthy grills and waited for out food to cook. I clocked some TIT drop a couple of our burgers on the floor, Steven thinks there was just one but to be fair any one of us could have eaten it. After a couple of burgers and watching some inbred destroy the cheese we saw the welcoming, green glow of an X-box 360. This turned out to be the only thing we really did that night at Ciaran's, it was rather amusing but after an hour or so it got kind of boring. The idea was put forward that we left and after making a tool out of myself on the running machine (getting the lowest score) that is what we did. We drove for a while and then decided to stop for some baking. One each, and of we drove again, we hit Lancaster and stopped to review our plans. It was decided after some time that we would re-bake and head off to ASDA for some late night shopping. We arrived, i got some money out and in we went, I'm sure the phrase 'child in a toy store' was thrown around and i can't imagine a better occasion for it. Isles and isles of food, toys,games everything the average baker could need, we were in heaven. We wandered a bit, then found the cake isle, this is where the problems came. What to get! After a lot of discussion i settled on: 4 custard slices, 5 cherry scones, 4 toffee yumyums and a litre of Lucozade. I don't think the woman who served me could had been any slower, so slow, i thought it was over when she went to give me my change, but she counted it out, coin by coin into my palm. It was ridonculous. I think after that we dropped Steven off, went to Mike's to pick something up and then I was dropped off at home. A very good night overall, can't stop laughing at the chicken carcass incident, it will remain with me for the rest of my life.

Oh and erm, I want a bike x

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