Sunday, 26 April 2009

First Impressions

Steven and I had roughly planned a bike ride but when we met all plans sort of went out the window so to speak. We went in a completely different direction to what was planned, but we had a destination...sort of. The new plan was to ride to Carnforth and meet Ben after work. Not much happened on the ride there except Steven running over a small child on a bike, it wasn't Steven's fault but it looked like it. We arrived at Carnforth Tesco's after a while, I found it was much easier than last time when i almost collapsed. Ben rang and told us to meet him in Burton-in-Kendal, I had no idea how far away that was so happily agreed and set off. It was a long way away. We met up with Ben in the village car park, did things that young children do not need to see. Ben invited us round to his house, he said it was only 15 minutes ride so we said OK. We tried to keep up with Ben in his car but that didn't last long. Steven seemed to have unlimited energy knowing that there was pure THC waiting for us at the finish line. We got lost a fair few times, some woman in a Land Rover had no spacial awareness and drove behind us for ages, even though you could fit two Land Rovers in the space that was there. We finally made it to Ben's house and what a nice house it was, in the middle of nowhere, big garden, trampoline. Very nice. We sat at a table and began to prepare things. We hear a rattling at the door. Enter Mr Naylor. Everything was hidden fairly swiftly, Mr Naylor comes and says hello, we are introduced, I shake his hand. Ben asks why he is home so early as he said he was out all day. The reply was 'why are you sorting 'things' out?' and Ben's reply was the funniest ever; 'Fine, we were in the middle of rolling a joint' with a sigh at the end. It wasn't a great first impression to make with someone's parent but oh well. We sat in Ben's tree house, not the safest of places. I put my foot through the floor and when getting down Steven broke the 'safety' barrier. All a good laugh. Then we hit up the trampoline, Ben obviously wowed us with his skills, I on the other hand landed on my head a few times. Ben decided to ride with us for a while which was fun. We found a rope swing that swung out over the canal. None of us wanted to go on it in the state we were, but we egged Ben on and he tried it. I think we all wanted to see him fall in a little bit. Steven went next and with each swing it became even more fun, I had to have a go. I put all my valuables in my bag, sat on the swing and off i went. So much fun! I kept going until i slammed into a tree which fucking hurt. I had a few more goes and got a bit wet and then we set off, Ben went home leaving Steven and I with the 10ish mile trek back home....higher than ever. I think I had a new found energy reserve 'cause I pretty much chipped it all the way home. It took us half as long as it did getting there anyway. Steven and I finally went our separate ways and I gunned it down the cycle path in no time at all. I got home, tried to make an omelet, failed and sat in my room all night. A slight anti-climax but I was too shattered to care.
All this on my dad's shitty bike, I still don't have my new one.
Fuck EMA and fuck huge tires

Sunday, 19 April 2009

A trip to Manchester and a fat ride.

Long time sincw my last post, but nothing much has happened in the last week or so. The weekend has been fun though. On Saturday I got the train the Preston to meet Ciaran and Rob and then we drove to Manchester to go see a fixie race. We arrived and after a lot of shouting and wrong turns we parked up and set off on foot to find where the race was being held. We found it after a while, Ciaran's guess was correct and now i owe him a quid apparently. Confronted with a crowd of unfamiliar faces we wandered a bit and took a seat on the comfy floor, just outside an open door which gave entrance to a massive Dungeons&Dragons meet which provided endless entertainment as we saw one nerd after another coming in and out. First was the trackstand, which provided little but some entertainment and then came the main event. We tried to work out the course but ended up back at the start line. I whipped my camera out and took around 200 photos with about 10 of them being acceptable for public viewing. The race was ruthless around 16 competitiors therefore 16 laps with the loser of each lap being knocked out. The winner was at the front for the whole race and didn't slow the pace at all which I found very impressive. After that we chipped off to spend some money. Firstly hitting up the food court for the smallest nasties pizza from Pizza Hut then a bit of light browsing. Didn't get anything sadly, saw some mint Vans though. The day ended with me at Preston station for 40 minutes witing for a train with some guy next to me chatting up anything that moved, to no avail. Silly wanker.

So today Ciaran text me saying he was coming to Lancaster for a ride and to meet him at Williamson's park. I did so, uphill all the way pwnd. We fucking mashed down the hill, never really stopped pedalling except at the crossroads where i pretty much messed my pants. We then lost Turner and after trying to find him for a while we found out he had been at Sainsbury's the whole time. Bastard. We hit up the race track at Salt Ayre, I tried to race Ciaran but that failed miserably. Onward to Heysham. We chipped to the power station and soaked up the amazing view. Ciaran and I went for a wander beneath this ragged pier thing, and i took my camera. Me being a fucking idiot didn't really pay attention to my settings or how the pictures were coming out, the exposure was too high so that's why they look like they do unfourtunatley. Sadly it's not the thought that counts =(
We went on around the power station and back through Heysham and fully mashed our way to Morecambe, Ciaran It was about 10 minutes after this that i fucking lost those guys and the next time I saw them was at the Millenium bridge ( they had stopped i didn't catch them up). We rode to a nearby shop and refueled, and rode a little bit further and decided to sack the hill off and walk the rest of the way. We went our separate ways and I met Binner, Nick, Steven and Robin for some footy. The worst idea after a 15 mile or so ride. After the football Steven and I did the hill again but faster this time and in the dark, it's addictive. As I sit here now typing this all I can think of is going down that hill on a proper road bike!

Bike next week hopefully.


Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Who says chicken carcass can't fly 50mph?

We (Steven, Mike and I) were wandering around Sainsbury's looking for food to take to Ciaran's BBQ. We had burgers in mind(despite Mike's somewhat outside the box idea of milkybar yogurts) but on our mission to find them we came across the cooked meat counter, and there it was, whole cooked 'extra tasty' chicken. After some confusion over which one to buy we took the goods, picked up some burgers and payed for it all. As me and Steven payed Mike robbed a knife from the cafe area, for operating. We payed and headed back the the cafe for condiments, we got some very evil stares form the workers as we were piling mayonnaise and ketchup into a carrier bag like some crazed fools. we made a swift getaway back to the car, we could hardly contain ourselves. I opened the bag, the smell rushed out, mouths watering we gave orders to Steven to dish it out. We set off for Ciaran's getting bits of chicken here and there, I had some major problems with mayonnaise and trouser contact but i got over the worst of it. After devouring the chicken, sensing a little buyers' remorse we pondered on what to do with the greasy carcass that was left. It didn't take long for one of us to suggest throwing it at a pedestrian as we drove past and the plan was put straight into action. Sadly i couldn't get my phone out in time to record this spectacle, but believe me it was AMAZING. We spotted the target, a solitary figure making his way towards the university, Steven took aim and POW! The noise it made was indescribable, a mix between a thud and a splat. The guy must have been covered, dripping with grease. I looked back and saw him stood still, probably trying to decipher what the fuck just happened.
Onward to Ciaran's. We arrived, watched Ciaran wash some filthy grills and waited for out food to cook. I clocked some TIT drop a couple of our burgers on the floor, Steven thinks there was just one but to be fair any one of us could have eaten it. After a couple of burgers and watching some inbred destroy the cheese we saw the welcoming, green glow of an X-box 360. This turned out to be the only thing we really did that night at Ciaran's, it was rather amusing but after an hour or so it got kind of boring. The idea was put forward that we left and after making a tool out of myself on the running machine (getting the lowest score) that is what we did. We drove for a while and then decided to stop for some baking. One each, and of we drove again, we hit Lancaster and stopped to review our plans. It was decided after some time that we would re-bake and head off to ASDA for some late night shopping. We arrived, i got some money out and in we went, I'm sure the phrase 'child in a toy store' was thrown around and i can't imagine a better occasion for it. Isles and isles of food, toys,games everything the average baker could need, we were in heaven. We wandered a bit, then found the cake isle, this is where the problems came. What to get! After a lot of discussion i settled on: 4 custard slices, 5 cherry scones, 4 toffee yumyums and a litre of Lucozade. I don't think the woman who served me could had been any slower, so slow, i thought it was over when she went to give me my change, but she counted it out, coin by coin into my palm. It was ridonculous. I think after that we dropped Steven off, went to Mike's to pick something up and then I was dropped off at home. A very good night overall, can't stop laughing at the chicken carcass incident, it will remain with me for the rest of my life.

Oh and erm, I want a bike x

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Eventful night, tiring afternoon.

So, waiting for a real bike wasn't working for me, I wanted a bike, anything with two wheels and pedals that was capable of going forwards, and there it was, my dad's busted up Diamondback 'Topanga' huge wheels rusty chain, the works. I first had to repair a puncture which was no problem i guess, Steven arrived shortly after, ready for the session ahead. We set off from my house, picked up Steven's bike and off we rode to meet Ben. Gunning it down hills, trying to imitate the guys from mash, to no avail. We met bet at Dalton square and picked up, this is where things got a little more interesting, we lit up on the quay, having met the Italian Stallion along the way. Crossed the railway bridge and onward to Salt Ayre, no worries, no qualms. Upon arrival at Salt Ayre we discovered a rather hefty dirt hill which, without much debate we rode down, no suspension, nothing. After that rather unsettling episode, rode around the car park for a while, took up a bench and Steven rolled up again, while me and Issy pissed about ( still awaiting pictures). We got the call form Naylor: '10 minutes, top of town.' and there we had our mission, Salt Ayre to the top of Lancaster 10 minutes, rather intoxicated, off we rode into the dark night. We made it in good time, Naylor hadn't yet arrived. Sat there waiting, i saw a look of distress on Steven's face, i turned to look what it was, and there i see a police van pulling up to us, and if you have ever been in the state we were, you would know how fucking scary that shit is. Turns out, contrary to popular belief, he just wanted a word with us about bike safety, seeing as i had no light and a black jacket on, the nice police man, a cyclist himself I'll have you know, went on his way and we soon met Ben. Steven got his bag back(which is the main reason we were meeting Ben) and we, once again, set off into the night. I can't quite remember what happened after this, oh yeah, we followed the one way system round and ma and Steven decided to chip down the huge hill towards the bus station, i turn the corner, top speed, to find a group of drunk students in my path, as clear as my head is know i can easily think of a solution for what lay ahead of me, but in that state i just closed my eyes and hoped for the best, and luckily all i got was an earful, thank you god. I think after this, the yellow belly Issy fucked off home, leaving me and Steven. The munchies were starting to hit me, so i decided, spend all the money I had for the upcoming week, in one go at Domino's, so off we trotted to Domino's. Texas BBQ it was and it only took 10 minutes, as we got outside i realised what i had just done, huge pizza+bike=fail. I walked the majority of the way, stopping once to re-bake, then i decided to risk it, the pizza went on the handle bars and off i flew down some hill towards my house. Then who do i see coming up the hill? Mappleby and his chums, doing god knows what. When asked what i was doing i replied with 'fucking baked man' they understood my situation and let me be, after a short burst of laughter. I arrived home, put the bike away and off into the 'Batcave' i went. Laptop on, pizza out, music loud, i sat and ate the pizza watched some biking videos and spoke to some peeps on msn, feeling rather happy with myself. Got talking to Ciaran and he informed me that he was going cycling the next day, asked me if I was up for it, reluctantly i said yes, but sat here now, having just got back, I'm glad i did.

The following morning i was awoken by a text from Ciaran saying he would be there in about an hour, I inquired where 'there' was, a got my coordinates and shortly after i set off, no food, nothing, bad idea. I chipped to Halton as fast as my wee chicken legs would go, thinking i was late, turns out they weren't there and so i waited 10 minutes, and sure enough they turned up, had a bit of a giggle at my bike, and off we went down thee cycle path onward to Morecambe. Now both Ciaran and Turner have road bikes, which are a lot faster that that pile of anal discharge trying to pass off as a bike that i was riding, so as expected i was pedaling twice as hard as those fucks trying to keep up, by the time we got to the Millennium bridge i was fucked, well and truly, but i wasn't quitting yet, they kindly slowed the pace a little to let me catch up, we cruised for a while and took a break at the race track at Salt Ayre, I had a quick go on Turner's bike and then went round the track on Ciaran's, this was later described by me as being like'working in a mansion massaging hot girls then going back the the cardboard box you call home', nearly cried they were that fun to ride, and sadly i had to go back to my pile of wank ass gay bike, we headed back on the cycle track towards Morecambe, upon arrival at Morrison's we locked up the beasts and headed in. After the pizza the night before i was low on funds so Ciaran kindly contributed to my re-hydration fund, got myself some Relentless and a couple of Snickers bars ftw, ignoring Ciaran's mockery of my choice of energy food. We rode onto the promenade and ate our supplies and then headed back towards Lancaster, hitting up a few main roads along the way, roundabout+me+bike=messy trousers, i pussied out half way round and started tearing up the pavement, I turned on the gas and caught up with the peloton. As we were near Steven's i thought I'd give him a ring, turns out he was in so we stopped off at his, had a chat, got my bike pump back form the previous night, and then set back on course. We re-joined the cycle path and continued on our journey, despite the other two burning me off a couple of times it was a pretty gentle return journey, one that i could keep up with. Once again we stopped of at the race track, I had another go on Ciaran's bike, timed laps of the course proved how unfit i was making Ciaran look like a veteran cyclist, despite Ciarans second run being 2 seconds slower i managed to beat my first time, but at a cost, my legs soon turned to jelly and the remainder of the ride home was hard, thankfully i didn't have very far to go. As soon as we crossed the Millennium bridge i hung a right whereas the other two hung a left, separating us, I was heading home, the other two back to the car, although they did not see me turn and I imagine a very brief moment of confusion for them soon followed. I arrived home very tired, legs don't work and i stink like a sack of shit, but one thing is on my mind, and one thing only:

I want a fucking bike, and I want it now!

Friday, 3 April 2009


I am currently saving for a road bike and at this rate its going to be a long long time before I am feeling the wind in my hair and the flies in my teeth. I have found myself thinking that every situation I am in would be a hell of a lot easier if I had a bike, whether it be walking home or sat at home bored, and in all fairness a bike would make things so much better. Hopefully I will come into some money in the near future, maybe say...£500? I have a strong feeling,however, that the wait will be worth it and that it will live up to my expectations, if not,well I'm sure I'll get over it.

Watch this space.


First Post-Explanation

So, I was sat in my room having not gone to school 'cause i woke up 10 minutes late,meaning I had already missed out on my precious EMA, and i was bored as hell just trying to stay awake thinking of something productive to do. I follow a few peoples' blogs and it was while i was reading one when i decided to write my own. I know my writing capabilities are not the best, but I'm sure it is comprehensible. I'll probably just update when something exciting happens or when i fancy ranting about something, vent the anger.
Hope you find some of this interesting.

Until next time x