Wednesday, 25 November 2009

House Arrest

I've been doing so much time inside my mind. My head is my cell behind the bars of my eyes. Tomorrow has a bitter fucking taste. Don't try to tell me that I'm not alone, because I've been throwing rocks and nobody's home.

Sleeping pattern = Fucked

Ratio of time spent in and out of the house in the past 4 days = 1:0

Money = £00.00

Weather = Shit

Depression = Kicking in.

My life. | TweetPhoto

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

I have adopted the life of a king.

The last few weeks have been really great for a change. I turned 18 last week, meaning I am now officially a man. Shit. Time to sort out my life, act my age, and start my real life...or not as the case may be.
Marijuana intake is up this month due to an increase in funds. Good stuff recently too, sourced not too far from me which makes things easier.
All I seem to spend my time doing is smoking, skating or riding, with the possibility of some photography in between. Some of you may think that I am wasting my time/life, and maybe I am but I wouldn't trade it for anything 'cause I love weed. There, I said it.
My body clock has been flipped upside down at the moment, its really becoming a problem. I sleep when everyone is out and then sit in my room itching to do something at 3 am. On the off chance my timetable fits I'll go for a skate but then I end up getting high and thinking the shittest tricks are worth doing. Its not cool.
I can't be bothered typing anymore, I've found myself just typing for the sake of it now. Here are some pictures I've taken over the past few weeks, they're not on facebook or anything yet so feel privileged to be getting an exclusive right here!

Monday, 3 August 2009

Long time no see.

Its been a while since I've been on here and so I though I better take a break from smoking bush and write a new post.
In the past few weeks since my last post not much has happened, nothing blogworthy anyway.
The summer holidays are about halfway through now and all I seem to have managed to do is smoke, skate and ride my bike. Not a bad way to spend my time yet it seems a bit of a waste. Sadly I missed one of Have Heart's final gigs which I was very upset about, this was due to no way of getting home afterwards and a lack of money, but I guess you can't win them all. I'm sure I'll make up for it. A recent weed drought has seen the return of the infamous 'bush' which is basically rag weed that grows on its own on a mountain somewhere, its shit and it tastes like dick but it does the job at half the price so I can't complain. Today was amusing, drunk girls and virgins ftw, Danny Gardner-Epic fail and arms in shit are some highlights of the day. Had a smoke of some real green and it tasted sweeeeeeeet. The unwelcome rain kind of ruined it a bit as I was up for a skate but oh well. The lack of money is an ongoing problem, I can't seem to get any money! My card was declined today when i tried to buy a bottle of lucozade, how embarrassing. I got back on my xbox aswell, this has consumed a lot of my time recently, it feels like a waste but I just tell myself that pwning nubs makes the world go round.
As for the remaining few weeks of my summer holidays I can't see me doing anything exciting, just living live I guess, so it may be a while till my next post but I'm sure all 1 of you who read this can bear it.

Until next time x

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Drum Tech Guy

His name is Ben!

I love you

Its actually not cider its beer....

A couple of months ago now Ibought two tickets to see Cancer Bats in Manchester, one for me and one for Josh. The day finally came and off I trotted to Manchester and met Josh. After searching for some 'penny boat loafers' for Josh and trying to get a room at Travel Lodge and failing we went to the academy. It turns out that Saxon were also playing that night so there were a lot of classic rockers dotting around, one of whom provided some light entertainment while queuing. This dude went on and on for fucking ages, not letting us get a word in edge ways. All I can say is that I hope his brother gets his football shirt. In we went, straight up stairs, had a look at the merch and said hi to Liam Bat. We went to walk into the stage area when i felt an arm around me. I looked up to see some drunk guy, he asked if I could get him some green and I apologised as I don't know anyone in Manc that could. We spoke to this guy for a while and it turns out he was the drum tech for Cancer Bats, I'm still waiting for Josh to get this guys name because, as we would find out later, this guy is a fucking DUDE! The gig was fucking amazing, best gig I've been to i reckon. The usual crowd surfing/stage diving antics went down. The supporting acts consisted of SSS (Short Sharp Shock) and The Plight who were both equally impressive. After the gig we saw drum tech guy (as we came to call him) packing up and Josh asked if he was gonna be down Big Hands afterwards, he said yeah and we shook on it. Off to big hands with a brief glimpse of Saxon on the way. The I.D worked (thanks bro) and we sat and drank for a while.I ordered 'that raspberry cider' which turned out to be beer, what a n00b, Josh laughed at that one and I got sympathy from the lovely barmaid. Then we saw the bands gathering outside. Josh said he was gonna say hi to Katie P when she walked in and that he did. She introduced us to Jay, the C-Bats bassist then asked what we were drinking at which point i played a bit of beer tennis and smacked my bottle off the bar....good times. Josh went off the the toilet and came back saying he ran into drum tech guy who was partying with the bands and he said we should come down, so we did. I went to the toilet and came back to see Josh talking to the C-Bats guitarist, I joined in after dancing with drum tech guy for a while ( he seemed to think the cigarette machine was a jukebox for some reason) After chatting with him for a while Josh went to get drinks during which time I got chatting to The Plight who are a bunch of really sound guys, we spoke about all sorts until Josh returned. After this we sat with Jay and Katie on the sofa. Jay told us about how his mother used to give him whiskey when he was teething and that's why he was knocking them back so quick. We had some really good banter going and then sadly it was time for them to leave. I said bye to Liam and the rest of the guys before they left and all of a sudden me and Josh were the only two people left. It was over. We finished our drinks and then faced the peril that lay ahead of us; Manchester, 1am, no where to stay. We headed for food first and entered the first place we found that was open, it was a shithole. After food we headed for Josh's cousins flat, which we knew was unoccupied and locked up tight, but at least we could sleep in the stairwell or the balcony in Josh's case. After sleeping on the balcony for an hour i was fucking freezing so I woke Josh and we headed into the stairwell. Josh then went on to be sick, dripping it all the way down 5 of the 9 floors. Good effort. We sat on the ground floor for 4 hours, Josh slept on my bag, I kept watch for rapists. At 5am we headed for the train station, in the rain. Upon arrival Josh went for a piss and i sat down. I fell asleep for about 2 hours as did Josh, I woke up with nothing missing but i felt sick and didn't know where the fuck I was. After buying the shittest sandwich ever for £2.80 I said my goodbyes to my main skillet Josh and headed for good ol' platform 14. The train arrived on time and on i hopped, the only thing bad about the journey home was the coach from Preston to Lancaster, it sucked. I got home and went straight to bed and I didn't feel right until Tuesday night. At this moment in time I can't really believe what went down on that night, it was amazing and I hope i get to see all those guys again. I had such a good night and so did Josh:

So to SSS, The Plight, Cancer Bats, Katie, Drum tech guy and all the other guys thanks for a fucking awesome night and hope to see you again sometime.


Friday, 1 May 2009


I am sat waiting. Waiting for my dad to take me to go get my bike. The day is finally here, I got my EMA, not all of it but I'll get angry about that later 'cause I'm going to get my bike!

oh and...

Sunday, 26 April 2009

First Impressions

Steven and I had roughly planned a bike ride but when we met all plans sort of went out the window so to speak. We went in a completely different direction to what was planned, but we had a destination...sort of. The new plan was to ride to Carnforth and meet Ben after work. Not much happened on the ride there except Steven running over a small child on a bike, it wasn't Steven's fault but it looked like it. We arrived at Carnforth Tesco's after a while, I found it was much easier than last time when i almost collapsed. Ben rang and told us to meet him in Burton-in-Kendal, I had no idea how far away that was so happily agreed and set off. It was a long way away. We met up with Ben in the village car park, did things that young children do not need to see. Ben invited us round to his house, he said it was only 15 minutes ride so we said OK. We tried to keep up with Ben in his car but that didn't last long. Steven seemed to have unlimited energy knowing that there was pure THC waiting for us at the finish line. We got lost a fair few times, some woman in a Land Rover had no spacial awareness and drove behind us for ages, even though you could fit two Land Rovers in the space that was there. We finally made it to Ben's house and what a nice house it was, in the middle of nowhere, big garden, trampoline. Very nice. We sat at a table and began to prepare things. We hear a rattling at the door. Enter Mr Naylor. Everything was hidden fairly swiftly, Mr Naylor comes and says hello, we are introduced, I shake his hand. Ben asks why he is home so early as he said he was out all day. The reply was 'why are you sorting 'things' out?' and Ben's reply was the funniest ever; 'Fine, we were in the middle of rolling a joint' with a sigh at the end. It wasn't a great first impression to make with someone's parent but oh well. We sat in Ben's tree house, not the safest of places. I put my foot through the floor and when getting down Steven broke the 'safety' barrier. All a good laugh. Then we hit up the trampoline, Ben obviously wowed us with his skills, I on the other hand landed on my head a few times. Ben decided to ride with us for a while which was fun. We found a rope swing that swung out over the canal. None of us wanted to go on it in the state we were, but we egged Ben on and he tried it. I think we all wanted to see him fall in a little bit. Steven went next and with each swing it became even more fun, I had to have a go. I put all my valuables in my bag, sat on the swing and off i went. So much fun! I kept going until i slammed into a tree which fucking hurt. I had a few more goes and got a bit wet and then we set off, Ben went home leaving Steven and I with the 10ish mile trek back home....higher than ever. I think I had a new found energy reserve 'cause I pretty much chipped it all the way home. It took us half as long as it did getting there anyway. Steven and I finally went our separate ways and I gunned it down the cycle path in no time at all. I got home, tried to make an omelet, failed and sat in my room all night. A slight anti-climax but I was too shattered to care.
All this on my dad's shitty bike, I still don't have my new one.
Fuck EMA and fuck huge tires

Sunday, 19 April 2009

A trip to Manchester and a fat ride.

Long time sincw my last post, but nothing much has happened in the last week or so. The weekend has been fun though. On Saturday I got the train the Preston to meet Ciaran and Rob and then we drove to Manchester to go see a fixie race. We arrived and after a lot of shouting and wrong turns we parked up and set off on foot to find where the race was being held. We found it after a while, Ciaran's guess was correct and now i owe him a quid apparently. Confronted with a crowd of unfamiliar faces we wandered a bit and took a seat on the comfy floor, just outside an open door which gave entrance to a massive Dungeons&Dragons meet which provided endless entertainment as we saw one nerd after another coming in and out. First was the trackstand, which provided little but some entertainment and then came the main event. We tried to work out the course but ended up back at the start line. I whipped my camera out and took around 200 photos with about 10 of them being acceptable for public viewing. The race was ruthless around 16 competitiors therefore 16 laps with the loser of each lap being knocked out. The winner was at the front for the whole race and didn't slow the pace at all which I found very impressive. After that we chipped off to spend some money. Firstly hitting up the food court for the smallest nasties pizza from Pizza Hut then a bit of light browsing. Didn't get anything sadly, saw some mint Vans though. The day ended with me at Preston station for 40 minutes witing for a train with some guy next to me chatting up anything that moved, to no avail. Silly wanker.

So today Ciaran text me saying he was coming to Lancaster for a ride and to meet him at Williamson's park. I did so, uphill all the way pwnd. We fucking mashed down the hill, never really stopped pedalling except at the crossroads where i pretty much messed my pants. We then lost Turner and after trying to find him for a while we found out he had been at Sainsbury's the whole time. Bastard. We hit up the race track at Salt Ayre, I tried to race Ciaran but that failed miserably. Onward to Heysham. We chipped to the power station and soaked up the amazing view. Ciaran and I went for a wander beneath this ragged pier thing, and i took my camera. Me being a fucking idiot didn't really pay attention to my settings or how the pictures were coming out, the exposure was too high so that's why they look like they do unfourtunatley. Sadly it's not the thought that counts =(
We went on around the power station and back through Heysham and fully mashed our way to Morecambe, Ciaran It was about 10 minutes after this that i fucking lost those guys and the next time I saw them was at the Millenium bridge ( they had stopped i didn't catch them up). We rode to a nearby shop and refueled, and rode a little bit further and decided to sack the hill off and walk the rest of the way. We went our separate ways and I met Binner, Nick, Steven and Robin for some footy. The worst idea after a 15 mile or so ride. After the football Steven and I did the hill again but faster this time and in the dark, it's addictive. As I sit here now typing this all I can think of is going down that hill on a proper road bike!

Bike next week hopefully.


Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Who says chicken carcass can't fly 50mph?

We (Steven, Mike and I) were wandering around Sainsbury's looking for food to take to Ciaran's BBQ. We had burgers in mind(despite Mike's somewhat outside the box idea of milkybar yogurts) but on our mission to find them we came across the cooked meat counter, and there it was, whole cooked 'extra tasty' chicken. After some confusion over which one to buy we took the goods, picked up some burgers and payed for it all. As me and Steven payed Mike robbed a knife from the cafe area, for operating. We payed and headed back the the cafe for condiments, we got some very evil stares form the workers as we were piling mayonnaise and ketchup into a carrier bag like some crazed fools. we made a swift getaway back to the car, we could hardly contain ourselves. I opened the bag, the smell rushed out, mouths watering we gave orders to Steven to dish it out. We set off for Ciaran's getting bits of chicken here and there, I had some major problems with mayonnaise and trouser contact but i got over the worst of it. After devouring the chicken, sensing a little buyers' remorse we pondered on what to do with the greasy carcass that was left. It didn't take long for one of us to suggest throwing it at a pedestrian as we drove past and the plan was put straight into action. Sadly i couldn't get my phone out in time to record this spectacle, but believe me it was AMAZING. We spotted the target, a solitary figure making his way towards the university, Steven took aim and POW! The noise it made was indescribable, a mix between a thud and a splat. The guy must have been covered, dripping with grease. I looked back and saw him stood still, probably trying to decipher what the fuck just happened.
Onward to Ciaran's. We arrived, watched Ciaran wash some filthy grills and waited for out food to cook. I clocked some TIT drop a couple of our burgers on the floor, Steven thinks there was just one but to be fair any one of us could have eaten it. After a couple of burgers and watching some inbred destroy the cheese we saw the welcoming, green glow of an X-box 360. This turned out to be the only thing we really did that night at Ciaran's, it was rather amusing but after an hour or so it got kind of boring. The idea was put forward that we left and after making a tool out of myself on the running machine (getting the lowest score) that is what we did. We drove for a while and then decided to stop for some baking. One each, and of we drove again, we hit Lancaster and stopped to review our plans. It was decided after some time that we would re-bake and head off to ASDA for some late night shopping. We arrived, i got some money out and in we went, I'm sure the phrase 'child in a toy store' was thrown around and i can't imagine a better occasion for it. Isles and isles of food, toys,games everything the average baker could need, we were in heaven. We wandered a bit, then found the cake isle, this is where the problems came. What to get! After a lot of discussion i settled on: 4 custard slices, 5 cherry scones, 4 toffee yumyums and a litre of Lucozade. I don't think the woman who served me could had been any slower, so slow, i thought it was over when she went to give me my change, but she counted it out, coin by coin into my palm. It was ridonculous. I think after that we dropped Steven off, went to Mike's to pick something up and then I was dropped off at home. A very good night overall, can't stop laughing at the chicken carcass incident, it will remain with me for the rest of my life.

Oh and erm, I want a bike x

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Eventful night, tiring afternoon.

So, waiting for a real bike wasn't working for me, I wanted a bike, anything with two wheels and pedals that was capable of going forwards, and there it was, my dad's busted up Diamondback 'Topanga' huge wheels rusty chain, the works. I first had to repair a puncture which was no problem i guess, Steven arrived shortly after, ready for the session ahead. We set off from my house, picked up Steven's bike and off we rode to meet Ben. Gunning it down hills, trying to imitate the guys from mash, to no avail. We met bet at Dalton square and picked up, this is where things got a little more interesting, we lit up on the quay, having met the Italian Stallion along the way. Crossed the railway bridge and onward to Salt Ayre, no worries, no qualms. Upon arrival at Salt Ayre we discovered a rather hefty dirt hill which, without much debate we rode down, no suspension, nothing. After that rather unsettling episode, rode around the car park for a while, took up a bench and Steven rolled up again, while me and Issy pissed about ( still awaiting pictures). We got the call form Naylor: '10 minutes, top of town.' and there we had our mission, Salt Ayre to the top of Lancaster 10 minutes, rather intoxicated, off we rode into the dark night. We made it in good time, Naylor hadn't yet arrived. Sat there waiting, i saw a look of distress on Steven's face, i turned to look what it was, and there i see a police van pulling up to us, and if you have ever been in the state we were, you would know how fucking scary that shit is. Turns out, contrary to popular belief, he just wanted a word with us about bike safety, seeing as i had no light and a black jacket on, the nice police man, a cyclist himself I'll have you know, went on his way and we soon met Ben. Steven got his bag back(which is the main reason we were meeting Ben) and we, once again, set off into the night. I can't quite remember what happened after this, oh yeah, we followed the one way system round and ma and Steven decided to chip down the huge hill towards the bus station, i turn the corner, top speed, to find a group of drunk students in my path, as clear as my head is know i can easily think of a solution for what lay ahead of me, but in that state i just closed my eyes and hoped for the best, and luckily all i got was an earful, thank you god. I think after this, the yellow belly Issy fucked off home, leaving me and Steven. The munchies were starting to hit me, so i decided, spend all the money I had for the upcoming week, in one go at Domino's, so off we trotted to Domino's. Texas BBQ it was and it only took 10 minutes, as we got outside i realised what i had just done, huge pizza+bike=fail. I walked the majority of the way, stopping once to re-bake, then i decided to risk it, the pizza went on the handle bars and off i flew down some hill towards my house. Then who do i see coming up the hill? Mappleby and his chums, doing god knows what. When asked what i was doing i replied with 'fucking baked man' they understood my situation and let me be, after a short burst of laughter. I arrived home, put the bike away and off into the 'Batcave' i went. Laptop on, pizza out, music loud, i sat and ate the pizza watched some biking videos and spoke to some peeps on msn, feeling rather happy with myself. Got talking to Ciaran and he informed me that he was going cycling the next day, asked me if I was up for it, reluctantly i said yes, but sat here now, having just got back, I'm glad i did.

The following morning i was awoken by a text from Ciaran saying he would be there in about an hour, I inquired where 'there' was, a got my coordinates and shortly after i set off, no food, nothing, bad idea. I chipped to Halton as fast as my wee chicken legs would go, thinking i was late, turns out they weren't there and so i waited 10 minutes, and sure enough they turned up, had a bit of a giggle at my bike, and off we went down thee cycle path onward to Morecambe. Now both Ciaran and Turner have road bikes, which are a lot faster that that pile of anal discharge trying to pass off as a bike that i was riding, so as expected i was pedaling twice as hard as those fucks trying to keep up, by the time we got to the Millennium bridge i was fucked, well and truly, but i wasn't quitting yet, they kindly slowed the pace a little to let me catch up, we cruised for a while and took a break at the race track at Salt Ayre, I had a quick go on Turner's bike and then went round the track on Ciaran's, this was later described by me as being like'working in a mansion massaging hot girls then going back the the cardboard box you call home', nearly cried they were that fun to ride, and sadly i had to go back to my pile of wank ass gay bike, we headed back on the cycle track towards Morecambe, upon arrival at Morrison's we locked up the beasts and headed in. After the pizza the night before i was low on funds so Ciaran kindly contributed to my re-hydration fund, got myself some Relentless and a couple of Snickers bars ftw, ignoring Ciaran's mockery of my choice of energy food. We rode onto the promenade and ate our supplies and then headed back towards Lancaster, hitting up a few main roads along the way, roundabout+me+bike=messy trousers, i pussied out half way round and started tearing up the pavement, I turned on the gas and caught up with the peloton. As we were near Steven's i thought I'd give him a ring, turns out he was in so we stopped off at his, had a chat, got my bike pump back form the previous night, and then set back on course. We re-joined the cycle path and continued on our journey, despite the other two burning me off a couple of times it was a pretty gentle return journey, one that i could keep up with. Once again we stopped of at the race track, I had another go on Ciaran's bike, timed laps of the course proved how unfit i was making Ciaran look like a veteran cyclist, despite Ciarans second run being 2 seconds slower i managed to beat my first time, but at a cost, my legs soon turned to jelly and the remainder of the ride home was hard, thankfully i didn't have very far to go. As soon as we crossed the Millennium bridge i hung a right whereas the other two hung a left, separating us, I was heading home, the other two back to the car, although they did not see me turn and I imagine a very brief moment of confusion for them soon followed. I arrived home very tired, legs don't work and i stink like a sack of shit, but one thing is on my mind, and one thing only:

I want a fucking bike, and I want it now!

Friday, 3 April 2009


I am currently saving for a road bike and at this rate its going to be a long long time before I am feeling the wind in my hair and the flies in my teeth. I have found myself thinking that every situation I am in would be a hell of a lot easier if I had a bike, whether it be walking home or sat at home bored, and in all fairness a bike would make things so much better. Hopefully I will come into some money in the near future, maybe say...£500? I have a strong feeling,however, that the wait will be worth it and that it will live up to my expectations, if not,well I'm sure I'll get over it.

Watch this space.


First Post-Explanation

So, I was sat in my room having not gone to school 'cause i woke up 10 minutes late,meaning I had already missed out on my precious EMA, and i was bored as hell just trying to stay awake thinking of something productive to do. I follow a few peoples' blogs and it was while i was reading one when i decided to write my own. I know my writing capabilities are not the best, but I'm sure it is comprehensible. I'll probably just update when something exciting happens or when i fancy ranting about something, vent the anger.
Hope you find some of this interesting.

Until next time x